My apologies to anyone who’s noticed my absence these past couple of months, but things in my world became a tad full-on for a while, and the blog was an unfortunate but necessary casualty in the midst of it all.

Not that it was entirely unforeseen…though the fact is that I chose to over-ride the cautionary signs because a part of me has this ridiculous notion that I am some sort of cosmic Lara Croft who can somersault out of the way of boulders and laugh in the face of monsters.

Which, to be fair, I often can. But what I’d forgotten is that even Lara retreats to her country estate for some R & R now and then, and in hindsight, I too should have heeded the call to jettison the utility belt rather sooner than I did….but sometimes, in all the dust and grime of Planet Serious, it can be difficult knowing whether we’re being asked to stand firm and dig in, or take a deep breath and just let go…

To continue the metaphor from my last blog, there have been one or two upturned pots of paint in my world of late….which is an admission that I appreciate may come as a surprise to some of you, who may presuppose that those of us who help other people get their stuff together, would not be so remiss as to allow our own to become so messy.

Which may, on the face of it, seem like a fair enough assumption, though perhaps it was such unreasonably high expectations that led Krishnamurti to comment, “You mistakenly believe that by pursuing the spiritual goal you will somehow miraculously make your material goals simple and manageable”, and indeed, my observation is that many people who are endeavouring to walk a spiritual path at this pivotal point in the earth’s evolution, are actually experiencing a pretty bumpy journey, and that furthermore, those of us with the temerity to espouse spirituality in our work certainly don’t live in ivory towers. Far from it.

Take, for example Brandon Bays [of ‘The Journey’], who has built a global self-help empire based upon her willingness to share her own cock-ups, grief and losses with the world. I remember hearing her tell a packed conference centre at Earls Court that she’d once literally lost everything she owned in a fire, and I well recall the mixture of amazement and bemusement that met this indomitable and apparently switched-on New Yorker’s admission that she had been living the California Dream minus the safety net of household insurance!  And likewise, the renowned spiritual luminaries who were featured in Rhonda Byrne’s film ‘The Secret’ may be comparatively rich and famous, but in some cases, the jig-saw puzzle of their personal lives allegedly contains many missing pieces. 

And part of the problem is that all this manifestation malarkey overlooks some fundamental trip-switches; the first being that the Law of Attraction is certainly not operating alone out there, and another is that the more masterful we become with this sort of energy work, the more attuned we need to be to our own inner saboteurs, so that we can be sure that when we ask the cosmic waiter for champagne and caviar, we’re not simultaneously pointing to a picture of egg and chips.

And of course, anyone daft enough to try and grapple with such subjects in a public arena has to accept the possibility of being shot at now and then.  And so, in a scene where life started to imitate art, shortly after I wrote that last piece, Captain Ego was involved in a skirmish in which some hostile spiritual soldiers were basically running amok and firing off rumours that Juice was a hotbed of black magic and kinky sex.

Now, I should have been able to deflect the bullets with a quick flick of the wrist, but it caught me off-guard, and it suddenly felt as if my ‘baby’ was being threatened and that some defensive action was necessary to prevent people buying into the nonsense.  And so, Lara swung into action and endeavoured to pull off a rescue mission… which turned out to be a complete waste of time and effort, and succeeded only in winding me up and wearing me down.

Yours Truly at last year’s gorgeous Midsummer Night’s Dream-themed Juice event.  And for the record, that’s a child’s toy in my hand, not a sex toy!

Of course, in hindsight, I can entirely appreciate that salacious stories like this are inevitable; after all, they’re so much more ‘juicy’ than talking about what we really do….which is have a lovely time, with much healing, magic, fun and laughter in the company of gorgeously warm and open-hearted people. Yes, of course it has its juicy moments, but it’s all – as Kenny Everett used to say – in the best possible taste, in an atmosphere of trust and respect, which is designed to deepen people’s connection with themselves and others.

And maintaining the safety of that environment is important; people will only drop their mask and open up to the magic when they feel safe and supported. And so I go to great lengths to ensure that Juice provides a safe playground. Sadly, however, others don’t necessarily share this viewpoint, and I found myself in some hot water with certain influential people recently over my stance in respect of somebody whose conduct [outside of Juice, I might add] had given me – as well as others – cause for serious concern.

It seemed I was unwittingly in the middle of a battlefield, and a reactive part of me wanted to pick up Lara’s Kalashnikov and wade in all guns blazing; but there was another, wiser part of me that thankfully recognised the only sensible option was to beat a hasty retreat.  And so, I packed up all my kit and caboodle, and yomped off to safe house…a haven of solace and solitude in the middle of nowhere, where I’ve been able to spend time looking within and recognising my own trip-switches, and the dichotomies of where I have – and haven’t – been in alignment with myself.

One of the first things I had to face was that daring to ‘be seen’ creates excruciating vulnerability, and I realised that walking my talk would entail finding a way through that discomfort without numbing out or perpetuating the drama.   And I realised that, for me, this means taking a leaf out of Brandon’s book and being willing to be authentically ‘whole-hearted’;  to let go of who and what I should be in order to be who I am…which enables me to become what I have the potential to be.

And from this vantage point, I can see that other people’s opinion is none of my business.

Whatever we may feel about their judgements, ultimately, people’s opinions are their stuff, not ours. It’s what we do with what it brings up in us that counts, and what I’ve woken up to is the realisation that sometimes, people’s disapproval of us can actually set us free.

Self-sabotage through fear of what other people think is a huge tripper-upper, and I’d succumbed on all sorts of levels – both in respect of Juice and particularly with my deeper therapy work , elements of which I’m well aware just don’t stand up to rational scrutiny. And so, in fear that I would be maligned and misjudged, a part of me was hiding in the closet and scuppering a lot of my more visible endeavours.

But thanks to all these powerful lessons, I’ve re-discovered the missing key to my own treasure trove and have found the courage to finally step out into the light with a new website, fresh enthusiasm and a firm footing in this big old adventure we call Life.

In the words of sexual shaman Baba Dez [who was featured in my very first blog entry], people engaged in transformational energy work need to learn to “eat shadow and shit light”, and there’s a wry and raw wisdom to that statement.

And to that, I would add that we also owe the people who entrust us with their hearts and minds and bodies, a sacred and unflinching duty of care.

So it’s not, perhaps, the easiest work in the world, and there is a delicate balancing act between honing our spiritual muscles, whilst being mindful of the ‘fragile beauty of our own humanness’.* But the gifts of the adventure are beyond measure and I feel privileged to play a part in such wonderful transformations.

And maybe the biggest one of late is my own.

There is undoubtedly a huge karmic and cosmic recalibration going on ‘out there’, and we’re all part of it. Many people are experiencing similar unforeseen and unwanted ripples and undercurrents in their lives right now, which could well be connected with the ‘2012 effect’ that’s long been prophesied by a plethora of august seers and sages of old.

Perhaps the tsunamis and earth-quakes that our planet is experiencing are either reflected in, or a reflection of, our own inner, personal turmoil…and perhaps what we’re now being asked to do – as never before – is to get completely clear about where we are, about who we are, and what we fundamentally stand up for….and – without ego, and with humility – live it. Day by day, minute by minute. Even when it feels uncomfortable, and especially when people try to knock us down.

Because if we haven’t got ourselves, then what have we got?

So let’s get real, people… but in-so-doing, let’s remember that nothing any of us do is in isolation; everything we do, say or even think, sends out ripples. And just as with recent geological disturbances, whether something is perceived as a disaster or a transformation is very much in the eye of the beholder, and some fallout is unavoidable….in here and out there.

Crisis precedes transformation, and healing sometimes isn’t pretty…but it’s always beautiful.

 

Shift happens.

And remember – what the caterpillar sees as the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.

Join us for some Midsummer Magic at Juice on 26th June

Click here for more about Lynn’s Holistic Sexual Energy Healing work

* from ‘The Dance’ by Oriah Mountain Dreamer